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Blog: What's on my mind

Act "as if"

Posted by Raj on January 25, 2012 at 2:25 PM

     "Listen... do you want to know a secret?" - The Beatles


     For those who are not yet familiar with the concept behind "The Secret", the idea is one of mind over matter- not bending spoons and such, but changing your whole life.

     Some people mock this concept because they argue that changing your internal thoughts can not change the external physical. I would argue that the placebo effect shows that mind does affect matter.

     In addition, changing thoughts will change your behavior. Imagine a man who feels that he is "a loser with the ladies". It will affect the way he carries himself, the things he says, even the places he goes and the things he does there. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

     Imagine that he later wakes up to the concept that what happened in the past does not have to control the present or the future. Imagine that he learns to see "the ladies" as people just like him, not some alien species. He will be able to go out to clubs, say hello in the grocery store, and do what it takes to meet new people.

     One of the other keys is that we act differently when something is working well than when it is not. Imagine some aspect of your life that went from good to bad. Chances are you responded by backing away from the failure.

     Since I mentioned dating, let's stick with love. Let's say things aren't going so great with your wife/husband/partner. What do you do? You avoid her, ignore him, make sarcastic comments, etc. and the relationship stays bad.

     Now imagine how would you treat her if the relationship was great. How did you act when you were falling in love? Maybe you called often, gazed into each others eyes and all of that stuff. So, do that now and turn things around.

    Act as if the relationship is great. It sounds crazy, but it works.

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