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Don't hurry, be crappy

Posted by Raj on January 25, 2012 at 2:30 PM Comments comments (0)

     "I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my world around you" - Fleetwood Mac


     In life we see great discrepancy. This one is rich, that one is poor, this one is immersed in daily drama, that one has smooth sailing.

     What is the cause of these differences? Can one shift from one position to the other?

     We humans are experts at rationalizations. We are great at coming up with explanations for things. Usually, we are quick to own success and disown failure. A person will claim that his musical talent came from his own hard work and practice, while his failure to ever get a gig came from disloyal band mates, crooked club owners and a stupid public.

     That is ego talking. People talk like this to tell themselves that they are good and the world is bad, or some such nonsense.

     One result of this act of lying to oneself is a distorted view of reality that impedes progress and change. If your lack of gigs is due to club owners, bandmates, and the public, what can you do to get a gig? You have to change a whole lot of people before you can do a show.

     This same outlook can affect every aspect of life. If you have lots of volatile relationships, you can blame the people you interact with, or God, or bad luck; but you will be better served by looking at yourself and seeing what you are doing to bring this about.

     Often it is nothing conscious or intentional. you are just doing what you have always done and getting what you have always got.

     We sometimes hear the phrase "He is his own worst enemy". This phrase is true for almost everyone, not a select few. The guy who wants to be admired makes a fool of himself showing off. The guy who wants to avoid failure never takes a chance on anything, so his whole life is a failure. The guy who wants to feel good about himself looks for flaws in himself to correct, and ends up feeling worse than ever.

     This is typical of emotional suffering. What we do to make things better often makes things worse. We dig ourselves deeper and deeper into the hole. If someone suggests that we stop, we react by thinking that if we stop it will all get worse. The guy who is correcting his flaws is terrified at the prospect of allowing them to flourish.

     In most cases, though, this is exactly what is needed. To work on acceptance. To stop seeing everything as a flaw. The same is true for all of the other stuff. We all know that the show-off is much more admirable when he lets his guard down and gets real. We know that the guy who loves and loses is less of failure than the guy who never dares to love.

     We need to stop trying to change other people, the world, and ourselves until we understand and accept. We need to take a moment to challenge our critical beliefs about the world and see if there may be a better way.

     Yes, as a participant in the rat race you may feel the need to lie and criticize and impress. But who says that is the only game in town? I say that you can tell the truth, accept others exactly the way they are and not try to impress anyone.

     I also say that you will be happier, others will think better of you, and you will be less troubled. 

     If you have an ongoing problem in your life, stop and look at it and make sure that you are not the one causing it.

Some ideas on "the secret"

Posted by Raj on January 25, 2012 at 2:25 PM Comments comments (0)

     "They got a name for the winners in the world, and I want a name when I lose" - Steely Dan


     A big part of the power behind “The secret” is taking responsibility; Being aware of how you are more in charge of your life than you may realize.

     Taking full responsibility for one;s own life is something that all winners do. The people that we call “losers” are full of excuses and blame for others.

     It is really a radical change for many people, to consider that they might have something to do with their problems and may have to take some responsibility for fixing things. 

     In doing so, for the first time in their lives, they are looking at things that they can do to make their own lives better.

     It is amazingly liberating, but also likely to be resisted. Many people would rather stay stuck and have someone to blame.

     This is another reason to get over the habit of complaining; If you say your life sucks, then you do not want to be responsible for it. If you feel that life is good, you won’t mind taking the credit.

    This is also a good reason to practice acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness.

     Imagine that a person is thinking “I hate that piece of crap that caused my problems, I pray that god kills him. Anyone who supports the cause of my problems is my enemy and a worthless piece of dung.”

     Now imagine how he will feel when it comes to his mind that he might be the bad guy. Is he likely to accept that liberating truth, or go deeper into denial?

     One bit of clarity here. Some people say that we are the cause of our own lives. This idea is taken to an extreme where it is suggested that starving children in Africa have caused their own suffering with thoughts of starvation. I want to dispute that notion. The cards you were dealt in the game were random. The Law of Attraction is more about learning the game, how to play those cards you were dealt in a way that allows you to start winning.

     If you didn’t know that you could bluff, or that a flush beats a pair, how can you be blamed for losing all of this time?

Act "as if"

Posted by Raj on January 25, 2012 at 2:25 PM Comments comments (0)

     "Listen... do you want to know a secret?" - The Beatles


     For those who are not yet familiar with the concept behind "The Secret", the idea is one of mind over matter- not bending spoons and such, but changing your whole life.

     Some people mock this concept because they argue that changing your internal thoughts can not change the external physical. I would argue that the placebo effect shows that mind does affect matter.

     In addition, changing thoughts will change your behavior. Imagine a man who feels that he is "a loser with the ladies". It will affect the way he carries himself, the things he says, even the places he goes and the things he does there. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

     Imagine that he later wakes up to the concept that what happened in the past does not have to control the present or the future. Imagine that he learns to see "the ladies" as people just like him, not some alien species. He will be able to go out to clubs, say hello in the grocery store, and do what it takes to meet new people.

     One of the other keys is that we act differently when something is working well than when it is not. Imagine some aspect of your life that went from good to bad. Chances are you responded by backing away from the failure.

     Since I mentioned dating, let's stick with love. Let's say things aren't going so great with your wife/husband/partner. What do you do? You avoid her, ignore him, make sarcastic comments, etc. and the relationship stays bad.

     Now imagine how would you treat her if the relationship was great. How did you act when you were falling in love? Maybe you called often, gazed into each others eyes and all of that stuff. So, do that now and turn things around.

    Act as if the relationship is great. It sounds crazy, but it works.


Posted by Raj on July 24, 2011 at 10:50 AM Comments comments (0)

"It's like a heatwave..." - Martha and the Vandellas

Another hot one in central Virginia- remember when home AC was a luxury that you did not have? -

Remember rolling down the windows in the car and driving fast to cool off?

Remember having to carry towels out to the car so that you didn't get first degree burns from the vinyl car seats when you sat down wearing shorts?

Remember when Watermelons and strawberries were only available in summer?

Why does that sem so cool, in retrospect?


Posted by Raj on April 19, 2011 at 9:57 AM Comments comments (0)

Taxes are due. Not looking forward to coming up off that green, if you know what I mean, but I feel I am getting good value for my money. Imagine if you could keep all that you make by paying no taxes. In exchange, no libraries, unpaved roads. No one on the other line when you dial 9-11... The money that I pay in taxes wouldn't cover the cost of one full time cop patrolling the streets, and we have a fleet of them. So I will pay with a smile, but it won't be a very big one

Don't mean a thing

Posted by Raj on April 7, 2011 at 11:20 PM Comments comments (0)

This one I posted on April First

Happy April, Fools!


I was updating my profile on facebook, and I started thinking about the importance of swing and groove, especially in a genre like Heavy metal/hard rock. When Steven Adler was booted from Guns'N'Roses they lost that funky, slinky groove that made them better than the other bands. Same thing with Clive Burr in Iron Maiden, Les Binks in Judas Priest, Peter Criss in KISS. The bands replace the groove kings with some technically adept basher. They don't even seem to miss the groove...but I do.


Video killed the radio star

Posted by Raj on March 23, 2011 at 7:30 AM Comments comments (0)

If at first you DO succeed, try something harder. That's the advice of John Maxwell in "Failing Forward".

So Ric and I talked yesterday about doing a mindboggle TV show, a 30 minute condensed version of the radio show to air alongside Virginia Artist Showcase. I am going to carry my video camera to Ric's before the show on Monday and see what's what. (Show has been cancelled 3/18/13)

Also, I started writing for the new Beatles Death Clues page/site I am putting together. (editor's note- the page is done and published- link here- 3/18/13)

I have not forgotten the devil essay either, it will appear in due time (editor's note-  I think this page is out there somewhere- I'll have to check 3/18/13)

I also have to do a boatload of research for the show on hip-hop conspiracies next week. I know as much about Hip-hop as CZJ knows about being ugly. (editors note- show aired and all of the research on hip-hop was not needed the guest did all of the talking 3/18/13 )

I love all of these projects and I'm glad, you are here checking them out.

Hasta luego

Wax on, That'll be $50

Posted by Raj on March 19, 2011 at 7:39 AM Comments comments (0)

My son Joey has a Karate tournament this weekend. It's a pretty good racket, as the spectators have to pay to watch and the participants have to pay to compete. Wouldn't it be something if the judges were paying to judge and the trophy makers paid to have their trophies used? I kid around, but I can imagine what is involved in setting up a tournament. .

I posted a video that I really like. I hope you like it, too

Looking forward to the Webradio show, lots of work to do this weekened to get it as good as I want it.

I will try to work on the "hero" video. I wonder if there will be time to work on the devil essay... as one of our songs says "So much to do, so few to do it for me"

better go and get on it.


Simmering with Satan

Posted by Raj on March 18, 2011 at 7:36 AM Comments comments (0)

Certain foods taste better after they have sat in the refrigerator all night. Chilis and stews and other foods that are a blend of ingredients seem to get better as the flavor from the brisket melds with the flavor from the beans.

I wrote a piece about the folklore of selling your soul to the devil and I think it needs to simmer. It actually needs some editing, but I'll get it together over the weekend.

My next video is going to hit the web this weekend too, You will love it. Not one of my songs, but a great one that deserves more attention so I made a video. Get ready, ;cause it is FUN!


Saint Patrick and the Saint Pauli girl

Posted by Raj on March 17, 2011 at 6:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Today is St. Patrick's day,

According to folklore, Saint Pat drove the snakes out of Ireland

In dream interpretation, Freudians see the snake as a phallic symbol, while Jungians see the snake as a symbol of wisdom. Both views go back to Genesis. The Serpent offers the fruit of the tree of knowledge and Adam and Eve partake. Next time Yahweh/Jehovah sees them he knows that they know and he kicks them out of the garden.

Freud sees this as symbolic of sexual awareness partly because they realized they were naked.

Jung saw it as a wider awareness, an awareness of not just seauality, but more importantly of their own mortality. When you know you're going to die, you look at the world differently.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties and hormonally driven, I thought Freud was right, and it was all about sex. As i have gotten older, gotten married, had a child and the T-levels have dropped to manageable levels, I am seeing it from Jung's point of view. When you're a teen the world is a Freudian place.

Back to Saint Patrick, apparently this day is the lifting of Lenten, so the drinking of alcohol is allowed on this day after a long drought. That explains it for observant catholics, but why does the rest of the world get puking drunk? Answer: because they can. Same with Cinco De Mayo, am I right? Hey, I'm not here to bust up the fun, like KeSha, Pink and The Black Eyed Peas, the party don't start until I walk in the room.