Raj Utopia: Songs, Stories and Odd Entertainment from Raj

Essays, Videos, Screenplays & More!

Lyrics to some of the songs we've recorded

"and though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half bad"

      Lyrics aren't poetry and aren't meant to be. "A wop-bop-a-looma-a-wop-bam- bomp" is all you need to get you rocking. Cold on the page, lyrics don't convey the message as well as when you have the music and the melody. Still, I thought it was woth posting a tune or two, and I feel that these lyrics are cool enough to stand alone. If they aren't, you have links to the videos for most of them... so quit yer bitchin'.

Cool like me

 

I don’t want to wear a beeper or carry a gun

And hanging out with all the right folks don’t seem much like fun

And i don’t want to get on top by holding people down

And i don’t want to get a rep by jackin’ folks around

 

I wanna be cool like me, don’t wanna join the winning team

I wanna be cool like me, no more being who I’m supposed to be

I wanna be cool like me, don’t need a gang to hang with me

I wanna be cool like me, can’t you see it’s the only way to be

 

I don’t want to date some hot girl just ‘cause she looks good

Worried ‘bout what people think and acting like I should

And I don’t wanna dress like you, boy, just so I’ll fit in

If being free means I’m a loser then I don’t want to win

 

I wanna be cool like me, don’t wanna join the winning team

I wanna be cool like me, no more being who I’m supposed to be

I wanna be cool like me, don’t need a gang to hang with me

I wanna be cool like me, can’t you see it’s the only way to be

 

I’m not asking for forgiveness, I’m not gonna try

There’s times I’ve been a plastic phony trying to live a lie

I used to fall for that peer pressure trying to play a role

But now I’m gonna just be me, I’m taking back my soul

 

I wanna be cool like me, don’t wanna join the winning team

I wanna be cool like me, no more being who I’m supposed to be

I wanna be cool like me, don’t need a gang to hang with me

I wanna be cool like me, can’t you see it’s the only way to be

(c) Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin

 

A video of this song:

 

I'm only in it for the pain

 

Lying here alone, staring at the walls,

Trying to get you out of my mind

Too many drinks, and too much time alone,

A few more drinks and maybe I won't mind

 

I'm drowning my sorrows instead of drowning in tears

The vodka is the only thing that's clear

... down here

 

I'm only in it for the pain,

 'Cause that's all that is left for me

My gin and future's down the drain

I'm only in it for the pain

 

Living here alone, staring through the glass

Trying hard to blur my burning eyes

I think I’ll kick the walls, I think I’ll pick a fight

I think I’ll drink 'til everything's all right

 

Cast adrift and lost, floating through my days

I'll blind myself to keep the tears away

 

I'm only in it for the pain,

 'Cause that's all that is left for me

My gin and future's down the drain

I'm only in it for the pain

For the pain

 

 (C) Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin

 A video of this song:

Living Dead Man

 

Like the Jesus Christ Lizard from the desert I rise

A bastard son of Sodom wrath of Belsen in my eyes

Know my will is the son of man’s, the master’s plan

My eyes and ears are everywhere, your children are my hands

 

I’m a living dead man rising from your past

I am the future coming down fast

Man tried to kill me, God set me free

My truth can be yours now surrender to me

 

Like the serpent in Eden I gave you the key

Now you revile me for setting you free

You can’t stop the truth now their ears are pricked

You better pray real good ‘cause I’m holding out the stick

  

See I’ve been tried and convicted by the powers that be

Vilified and crucified for not being a sheep

Say I broke your highest laws let this truth be known

I answer to a higher law, the law that is my own

 

I’m a living dead man but I’m not your last

I am the future coming at last

Cast off your kingdom it’s time to be free

You can be the master if you serve unto me

 

 (C) Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin

A video of this song  

 

 

Consume, conform, dig in

 

She drinks a fifth and smokes a pack and sailor-swears all day

She tells her kids “don’t be like me, just do what I say”

 Just ‘cause she’s a hypocrite it doesn’t mean she’s dumb

 She wants them to be better than the loser she’s become

 

But monkey see, monkey do

The family tree has got 'em screwed

  

Technology and television come to the third world

 Showing them a kind of life of which they’ve never heard

Dirty sex, cool violence, consume, conform, dig in

 Forget your gods and humble life out here we play to win

 

 Monkey see, monkey do

 Buy the dream and lose the truth

 

The persona of the gangster making genocide look hip

To make it cool to kill your brother just ‘cause you feel “dissed”

And models, actors, rockers making heroin seem chic

While we just die as junkies faceless nameless on the streets

 

Monkey see, monkey do

Watch me bleed, I’ll die for you

 

 (C) Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin 

Frustrated

  

My mom and pop try to run my life,

 They tell me what they want me to be

Teachers preach, preachers teach, they all screech

Sinking their claws into me

 

Good intentions or latent dementia?

Either way, it’s gone too far

They can’t see that I just want to be me

I don’t have time to be what they are

 

Frustrated: They don’t understand that I’m my own man

Frustrated: I’m a disappointment to the family plan

 

I read the papers and I watch TV

They drown me in the world’s misery

Commercial lies promise if I buy

Their snake oil’s gonna bring some relief

 

Entertainment or re-education?

They’ll make you sick and say the problem is yours

They wash your brain, claim the world is a pain

Then lie and say that buying more is the cure

 

Frustrated: I turned it off and saw my neighbor’s were thralls

Frustrated: the burning bush of TV made their Mecca the mall

 

Everyday I walk my neighborhood

I see the kids trying to act like the stars

They walk the walk, talk the talk, buy that crock

They pay the price and they’ll bear the scars

 

I try to show them how the media snows them

They say “go home and write your damn songs”

“Mind your own and leave us alone”

“Your interference is the only thing wrong”

 

Frustrated: just like my folks, I’m telling them how to be

Frustrated: they say, “leave me alone ‘cause I just wanna be me”

And that’s all

 

(C)  Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin

Holding out forever

 

I remember, I remember,

 It doesn’t seem so long ago

 When I was lonely and going nowhere,

Until her nails bit through my soul

 

There comes a time when you get to find

 What you’re meant to do every day

There comes a light in your soul’s darkest night

 That guides you on your way

 

I’ve been waiting just to see her,

Her gift of light so far away

I’ve been holding out forever,

 All I own: the long and lonely days

Now I know just what I’ve needed,

Though I lost my way so long ago

I’ve been needing something better,

Somewhere here or further down this road

 

I remember, I remember,

 Was it only yesterday?

The world was colder and I was older

And everything was black and gray

 

There comes a time when you get to find

 what you’re meant to do every day

There comes a light in your soul’s darkest night

 that guides you on your way

 

I’ve been waiting just to see her,

Her gift of light so far away

I’ve been holding out forever,

 all I own: the long and lonely days

Now I know just what I’ve needed,

Though I lost my way so long ago

I’ve been needing something better,

Somewhere here or further down this road

(C) Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin

 

Say goodbye

 

It’s time to say goodbye

No need to wonder why

When it’s over, walk away

 

We won’t be this way again

Time to leave it here my friend

When it’s over, say goodbye

 

Say goodbye to all your fears

To all your heartaches

To all your tears

Say goodbye to what’s gone wrong

 

Take my hand and we’ll stand strong

Don’t look back and don’t look down

Just believe that we can fly

 

Release your heartache

Release your pain

All of this will pass away

We will not be here again

 

We shall rise above our past

Then the first shall be the last

Let us close our weary eyes

 

You don’t need to question why

It’s getting very near that time

Just turn around and say goodbye

Say goodbye

Say goodbye

 

(C) Raj Upadhyay & Ric Morris 

Doing All Right

 

Don’t think that my hands are shaking,

I wrote this while riding a train

Don’t think that these spots are teardrops,

I wrote this in the pouring rain

Don’t think that my nights are lonely,

I like to have a bed to myself

Don’t think I’ve been keeping your picture,

I just haven’t cleaned off that shelf

 

Don’t think I’ve been dying to hold you,

don’t think I’ve been crying at night

Don’t think I’ve been taking it hard, girl,

believe me, I’m doing all right

 

I’m doing all right now. I don’t need you holding my hand

I’m doing all right now. I just wish that you’d understand

I’m doing all right, I’m doing okay,

don’t think I think about you everyday

I’m doing all right, doing all right, doing all right

 

Don’t think that no one can replace you,

perfection is easy to find

Don’t think that I loved you forever,

I don't have nothin' but time

Don’t think you were anything special,

I write songs for every girl

Don’t think that I'm dying without you

There's plenty of love in this world

Don’t think I’ve been dying to hold you,

don’t think I’ve been crying at night

Don’t think I’ve been taking it hard, girl,

believe me, I’m doing all right

 

I’m doing all right now. I don’t need you holding my hand

I’m doing all right now. I just wish that you’d understand

I’m doing all right, I’m doing okay,

don’t think I think about you everyday

I’m doing all right, doing all right, doing all right

 

  (C) Raj Upadhyay 

I’ll be waiting

 

I’ve got to find a way to love you

I’ve got to make you see the light

I wanna prove how bad I need you

And I can’t wait another night

 

You’ve got your old man in your pocket

And you’re his perfect little girl

But I’m the serpent in the garden

I’m gonna rock your little world

 

I’ll be waiting

 

I know that everybody wants you

But they don’t know you like I do

They only want your perfect body

But I want the heart of you

 

Well you can call it an obsession

Or you can call it what you like

I know you got no one to call back

If I call on you tonight

 

I’ll be waiting

 

When you wake up in the morning

And you’re planning what to do

I’ll be dreaming all alone here of the things I’d do for you

 

While you’re bathing in the evening

You feel the waves caress your skin

And I could make you feel like that girl

If you would only let me in

 

I’ll be waiting

(C) Raj Upadhyay and Ric Morris     

I'm so happy that I don't care

 

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

Like how much you love me, and how much you care

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

But I’m so happy that I don't care, I'm so happy that I just don't care

 

My friends all say I’ve always been a dreamer

I've got no proof but I believe that dreams come true

My ex-girlfriend never dreamed that I would leave her

But I thought you were my dream when I first saw you

 

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

Like how much you love me, and how much you care

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

But I’m so happy that I don't care, I'm so happy that I just don't care

 

My friends all say I’m living in a dream world

A fantasy about how our world could be

'Cause what you get ain't always, what you see, girl

What I see is a better life for you and me

 

 I’m seeing things that aren't really there

Like how much you love me, and how much you care

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

But I’m so happy that I don't care, I'm so happy that I just don't care

 

My friends all say I’m wasting my life dreaming

I say I’m awake and they’re the ones asleep

“Cause all they see is what they’re told is out there

While I can see the beauty in every creep

 

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

Like how much you love me, and how much you care

I'm seeing things that aren't really there

But I’m so happy that I don't care,

I'm so happy that I just don't care

 

(C) Raj Upadhyay and Jerry Martin 

Endless possibilities

What are we gonna do today?

Stay down here or fly away?

What are we gonna do tonight?

And will we rise with the dawning light?

 

In this tiny cage of alibis…

This private prison of precious lies

Can we rise above the tomb we’ve built?

Can we resurrect the love we killed?

 

What are we gonna do today?

Face the truth or run away?

And what are we gonna do tonight…

Curse the darkness or light the sky?

 

All alone, I’m locked in grief

My private prison of disbelief

But with you I only see

Endless possibility

 

What are we gonna do today

Face the dawn or turn away

And where will I find myself tonight

In your arms or out of sight?

 

A prison forged from bars of gold

Love’s embrace a stranglehold

But with you I’ve broken free

You give me endless possibility

 

What are we gonna do today?

 

 (C) Raj Upadhyay and Ric Morris

 

Living on borrowed time

 

Went to see my doctor today

He said my heart had been stripped away

Asked the doctor “what should I do?”

He said I got to get back, got to get back, get back to you

 

Went to your house and knocked on the door

Said your love is my only cure

Come back for seconds but you weren’t around

Time is short clock is running down

 

Living on borrowed time

Spending every second trying to make you mine

I thought when you left I would surely die

That’s why I’m living on borrowed time

 

I’m out of love and I’m all alone

Can’t even get you on the telephone

Sand is slipping through the hourglass

There’s nothing left, nothing left, the moment’s passed

 

Living on borrowed time

Spending every second trying to make you mine

I thought when you left I would surely die

That’s why I’m living on borrowed time

(C) Raj Upadhyay & Ric Morris

 

Ready to Ride 

I’m parked in a dead end, I’m going nowhere fast

Got the keys to a rocket in my pocket and it’s a blast

My motor’s overheating, I’m stuck in second gear

I can read the signals, baby, busting out of here

 

Gotta keep things moving, you wanna take it slow

Rev it up and ride it hard just punch it and go

 

I’m gonna rock it, get in and drive

Don’t try to stop me ‘cause I’m ready to ride

 

There’s action out there somewhere, I feel it in the air

If you wanna hit the hot spots I can take you there

It’s almost ready get it off the jacks, lube it up and check it out while it’s on the racks

 

We can ride til sunrise, we can rock til dawn

Engine’s overheating but you can turn it back on

 

I’m gonna rock it, get in and drive

Don’t try to stop me ‘cause I’m ready to ride

 

We can ride til sunrise, we can rock til dawn

Engine’s overheating but you can turn it back on

 

I’m gonna rock it, get in and drive

Don’t try to stop me ‘cause I’m ready to ride

 

 Ready to ride, ready to ride, ready to ride,

Don’t try to stop me ‘cause I’m ready to ride

 

(C) Raj Upadhyay & Ric Morris

A video of this song:

 

 

Someday when she wakes up

 

    She’s always waiting on the rebound,

she’s always hanging on the phone

She’s always crying to her girlfriends,

she’s always sitting home alone

She never wonders if he’s worth it,

she never says it if she does

She never says how much it hurts her,

she doesn’t know that isn’t love

 

Someday when she wakes up she’s gonna see it was all a dream

Next time that they break up, she’ll know it wasn’t meant to be

Someday when she wakes up next to me

 

I’m always waiting on the sidelines, I’m always waiting on her call

I’m the one who takes the backseat, she doesn’t notice me at all

I never wander ‘cause she’s worth it, I never try for someone new

I sit home and dream about her, I don’t know what else I can do

 

Someday when she wakes up she’ll see what she means to me

Someday when she wakes up she’ll see he was just a bad dream

Someday when she wakes up next to me

 

I can be witty, I can be charming, I can be cool and so disarming

I can be swift I can be sure but I can’t be happy if I can’t have her

 

She’s always waiting on the rebound,

she’s always hanging on the phone

She’s always crying to her girlfriends,

she’s always sitting home alone

Someday when she wakes up she’ll see it was all a dream

Someday when she wakes up next to me

 

(C) Raj Upadhyay 

 

That’s when I think about you

 

I went to the preacher, racked with regret

I asked “is this life as good as it gets?”

He said “God forgives, but he never forgets”

And that’s when I thought about you

 

I walked through the winter, the wind and the rain,

Obsessed with the demons driving my brain

The cold was so deep I went numb to the pain

And that’s when I thought about you

 

When I’m feeling lost and there’s nothing to do

I need some truth and I don’t have a clue

I doubt everything that I know to be true

That’s when I think about you

 

I woke up hungover, and stinking of gin

Drowning my sorrow and sinking in sin

I got to my house, but I couldn’t get in

And that’s when I thought about you

 

I went to Mother Flora seeking the truth

The lines in my palm told her what I would do

She said “best get used to singin’ them blues”

And that’s when I thought about you

 

 

You’re the last girl standing at the end of the show

The sand in the oyster that makes the pearl grow

The spark to the fuse that makes the bomb blow

The glory of the martyrs all laid out in a row

 

When I come home at dawn with last night on my breath

Faithful to God and cheating on death

Feeling like love is the only thing left

That’s when I think about you

That’s when I think about you

(C) Jerry Martin and Raj Upadhyay

 

This Love So Wild

                                     

Up and down and all around,

carousel hearts in a barely-go-round

Cotton candy sweet soft dreams,

 a fairy tale of what love means

That summer night, the county fair,

when love so wild caught us unaware

 

This love so wild it makes me dizzy

This love so strong it makes me weak

This love so true I can’t believe it

This love so wild that I can’t speak

 

Back and forth, on your mama’s porch,

swing low and carry a torch

Holding hands and sharing dreams,

that’s where I learned what true love means

Those starry nights, the summer air,

when love so wild caught me unaware

 

This love so wild it makes me dizzy

This love so strong it makes me weak

This love so true I can’t believe it

This love so wild that I can’t speak

 

Side by side in dad’s fifty-five,

lost in love and running wild

Parked beneath the drive-in screen,

that’s when I learned what true love means

The winding roads, wind in our hair,

when love so wild caught us unaware

 

(C) Raj Upadhyay

 

What would Elvis do?

 

Do you got a little problem with your romance?

When two women want you and you can’t decide

Ain’t nothin’ good on tv

you’re flippin’ through the channels ‘bout to lose your mind

If you need some answers, I tell you what to do

Shoot the TV with a Smith and Wesson and have the girls wrestle for you

 

If you got confusion, or a life that’s turning blue,

Ask yourself “what would Elvis do?”

 

“What would Elvis do?” is how I live my life

“What would Elvis do?” makes everything all right

“What would Elvis do?” is all I need to know

“What would Elvis do?” uh, go, man, go!

 

If you got a buddy who treats you right and you don’t know how to say thanks

Sleep on it on satin sheets and a fistful of prescription tranq’s

Wake up in the morning with amphetamines, shoot right out of the sack

Thanks don’t take no cards or kissy words, just buy that boy a Cadillac

 

So if you are in trouble, or if you get confused

All you got to do to get on down is ask “What would Elvis do?”

 

“What would Elvis do?” is all I need to know

“What would Elvis do?” go, man, go!

“What would Elvis do?” is what it’s all about

“What would Elvis do?” well, uh, shut my mouth.

 

If you got some food, just fry it, if you get too fat, girdles hide it

Sex and speed, a kingly diet, living like Elvis is a real live riot

 

If you want a girl but she’s too young, just sweet talk her dad

And if you got to live with mom and pop, put a jungle room in your pad

Explore spirituality, indulge your sexuality,

alter your reality, dig your pismotality!

 

“What would Elvis do?” is all I need to know

“What would Elvis do?” hey! go, man, go!

“What would Elvis do?” well, that’s the way to be

“What would Elvis do?” say-uh let me be.

 

(C) Raj Upadhyay 

 

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